If I Lose It All
by Pip3
Summary: The sequel to WHEN LOVE TAKES YOU IN. A phone call from Randall threatens to change Jack and Ennis's lives forever. INCOMPLETE/ABANDONED
1. Chapter 1

**(If I) Lose It All**

_Author's Notes: Yes... the sequel to "When Love Takes You In" is finally here. Rejoice and be glad._

_Disclaimer: "Brokeback Mountain" was created by Annie Proulx. The screenplay for the movie was written by Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana._

**Chapter One**

March 1985

Ennis Del Mar was awakened from a peaceful sleep by a grunt and a "godammit". He pulled the blanket down from his head, squinting at the sudden light.

"What?" He mumbled, stifling a yawn. He looked over and saw Jack struggling with a pair of faded blue jeans. Jack looked over at him with a frown.

"Can't get these damn jeans zipped up."

"That's cuz their mine," Ennis told him. He sat up against the headboard of their bed. He watched as Jack stripped off the jeans and looked at the tag, seeing that Ennis was correct.

"Jesus, we used to be the same size. When did I get so much bigger'n you?" He asked.

"Easier to pack on the pounds if you actually got the money to buy food. S'not anythin' new, Jack. You grew that gut years back.

"Huh... shit, maybe I should try an' lose it." Jack looked down at his belly.

"Don't you dare. I like that gut o' yours... more of you to hold onto." Ennis almost growled. Jack shrugged, not really bothered by it. If he'd really had it for years, it obviously wasn't a hindrance in work or play.

"When's Francine's plane coming in?" He changed the subject.

"S'posed to be in about 2:00 at the Madison airport. What about Bobby?"

"5:00... assuming Lureen is able to force him on the airplane. We don't gotta pick him up though. He's got a ride here. Tell you what, I'm a bit jittery about him comin'. He sure as hell don't wanna be here, he made that clear." Jack huffed, falling onto the bed.

"It's just a week, Jack. Maybe he can find someone to hang around with. Tomah school's are on spring break now, too." Ennis shrugged.

"Ain't ya a little nervous? I mean... Bobby didn't make it no secret how he felt about us last time I saw him. I don't wanna know what kind of things he might say to Francine."

"Last time you saw him was before we moved here. And Francine knows when to lay it all out and when to keep her mouth shut... 'sides she made plenty of friends over summer that'll back her up and she said Clara'll be stoppin' by sometime this week when she's checkin' out colleges. Don't worry so much. Now c'mon boy... we got some work to do 'fore the kids come."

Jack started to push himself back up to get dressed, but he was yanked back to the bed.

"Not that kind of work." Ennis murmured, crawling over to Jack and putting his lips to Jack's ear. Jack grinned and let Ennis pull him closer on the bed.

"I'd hardly call this work, Cowboy." He turned and swung his leg over Ennis, straddling him. He leaned in for a kiss when the doorbell rang. "Shit," he muttered.

Ennis gently pushed him off and Jack fell limply on his back. Ennis chuckled, looking at Jack's devastated face.

"Ain't like we can't continue this tonight, Rodeo." He got up and put on the jeans that Jack had been trying to zip up earlier. He put his thumbs through two belt loops and looked over at Jack again.

"I think ya stretched 'em out." He suppressed a grin when Jack threw a pillow at him.

"Just run and answer the door, ya bastard."

Ennis laughed and grabbed a white t-sirt on his way out of the room. He shrugged it on as he descended the stairs and jogged to the front door.

"Junior? Whattaya doin' ringin' the doorbell?" He asked as he opened the door.

"Sorry Daddy. Hands are too full to work the doorknob." She explained. It was then that he noticed the pink bundle in one arm and a full grocery bag in the other.

"I was wonderin' if you an' Jack could take Nancy Grace today. The Heathcare Center called and they're really short... flu's goin' around. Wanted to know if I could take an extra shift." Junior looked desperately at her father. She worked on-call at the Tomah Healthcare Center for extra money and to stave off total boredom while Kurt was working.

"Of course we can take her... if'n ya don't mind she comes with to get Francine." He was already reaching for the pink bundle of blankets. Junior and Kurt had given birth to a beautiful baby girl in the third week of October, almost exactly nine months after their wedding.

Junior and Ennis came all the way in the house and she set the grocery bag on the dining room table.

"I brought some extra formula in case ya needed it, and some new diapers." Junior pulled the items out of the bag and looked over at her father. She paused when she saw that she wasn't the focus of his attention anymore. He was totally enamored with his granddaughter.

He was sitting over on the fur rug b the fireplace and he had set Nancy grace on her tummy. He was trying to get her to roll over by setting her favorite toy to one side just out of her reach.

Jack came down the stairs, tucking in a shirt as he walked.

"Who was at the - oh! Why it's the Lucky Star herself!" Jack exclaimed, rushing over and picking the baby up excitedly. Jack, Nancy Grace's godfather and bonus grandfather, had taken to calling her 'Lucky Star' because she was a honymoon baby and he insisted that was good luck.

"Mornin' to you too, Jack." Junior called out.

"Oh, hey there Junior. Ya here for a visit?"

"Nope. Dropping her off. Kurt's already at work and I need to pick up a shift on account of the flu goin' 'round work." She explained.

"She comin' with to get Francine then?" He asked. She nodded.

"I best be gettin' a move on though. Don't wanna be late, shorthanded as they are." She grabbed Nancy Grace for a goodbye kiss. "You be good for your grand-daddies now. Bye Daddy, Jack." She handed the baby back and rushed out the door.

Jack bounced the baby in his arms as she gurgled up at him. Ennis stood and peeked over Jack's shoulder, smiling at the little girl. Ennis wished he had been a better father to Junior and Francine. Looking back, he could see that he never really played with them if it wasn't needed and he stayed emotionally distant until they were older even though he loved them so much. He was too scared to be a good father when he was younger. He didn't know what he was doing. Nancy Grace was like a second chance and he never realized that playing with his grand-daughter could be so fun.

After they kept Nancy grace entertained for a while, she made it clear how tired she was and so they fed her and put her to sleep in the small nursery they'd set up upstairs. She slept up until they had to start on their way to the airport. Ennis got her settled in the car seat of their extra car that they'd acquired since her birth. They drove to Madison, stopping only once to change a diaper.

Waiting at the gate for Francine, they were surprised when they saw her. Gone was the spiky, frizzy hair and crazy clothing. In place was just Francine with her blonde hair straight and laying calmly on her shoulders while she wore plain, but tattered jeans and a fitted t-shirt bearing the logo of some band on the front.

"Daddy!" She yelled and ran to hug Ennis. She then turned to Jack, who was holding Nancy Grace.

"Ohh... my gosh, is this my little niece?" She cooed.

"Yep. The Lucky Star... here, hold her." Jack handed Nancy Grace to Francine, who melted as soon as the baby was in her arms. It was the first time she'd been able to meet her niece and she had tears in her eyes.

"You're just the most amazing thing, aren't you?"

Ennis went to find Francine's suitcase while Jack grabbed her carry-on. When Ennis rejoined them, they started walking.

"Looks like Junior and Kurt got a new baby-sitter this week." Ennis whispered to Jack and Jack stifled a laugh.

After they god home and Kurt picked up Nancy, Francine fell asleep on the couch, tired from traveling. Ennis had the television (purchased over summer for Francine's sanity) on low and set on some random channel and Jack tried to sit still, but was too anxious waiting for Bobby to arrive.

"Stop your worryin' and settle down. You'll wear a rut in that nice wood floor."

"Ya know if it weren't fer you, maybe my own son wouldn't hate me so much and I wouldn't hafta be worryin'!" Jack snapped at him.

"Izzat so?" Ennis remarked calmly, staring straight at the television as Bob Ross added yet another 'happy tree' to his canvas. He let Jack's comment slide, knowing that they both sad stupid things whenever they were extremely stressed.

"Yeah, that's so. Ya know, maybe if I never knew ya then I never woulda been leavin' so much each year and levin' him for L.D. to twist and-" Jack paused when Ennis finally turned to face him.

"... and?" Ennis encouraged, staring intently into Jack's eyes. Jack sighed and sat on the arm rest of Ennis's chair.

"Damn, Ennis. I didn't mean... I mean, ya know. I... I love you and I don't know what I'd ever do without ya. I'm sorry fer sayin' all that bullshit." He brought his hand up to Ennis's face, rubbing his knuckles over the harsh stubble that had grown over the day.

Ennis leaned into the warm touch out of habit and was about to tell Jack that it was okay and all was forgiven, but the doorbell rang when he opened his mouth to speak. Jack's hand was gone from his face that moment as the man raced towards the door. Ennis frowned and wondered why the doorbell had such awful timing that day.

"Bobby... hello. It's good to see you." Jack said awkwardly, trying to hold a smile on his face for his own son. Bobby didn't look at him, but looked around the house to see the place he'd be staying for a week. "Well, this is our house. You're free to roam around and make yourself at home here."

"Whatever queer," the teenager muttered, brushing past Jack and coming face to face with Ennis. The older man towered over Bobby, looking very intimidating.

"I hope I didn't hear what I thought I did."

Bobby looked up at the tall man, remembering meeting him when Jack was in the hospital. Bobby may have grown a few inches, but Ennis could still mop the floor with the boy.

"Ennis, just leave it..." Jack sighed. Ennis glanced over Bobby to look at Jack and then took a step back. He was still pissed, Bobby could see by the twitch in Ennis's jaw.

Bobby turned away from him and walked through the living room, stopping when he saw Francine sleeping on the couch.

"Who's that?"

"My daughter."

"No shit. I sure as hell didn't think she was a bonus girlfriend for either of you to fuck. What's her name?"

That time Ennis grabbed him by his shirt collar and Jack didn't say anything.

"You don't speak about my daughter in that way. You don't talk about any young lady that way. What the fuck is wrong with you, boy?" He growled, now only inches from Bobby's face.

"S-sorry, sir." Bobby stuttered fearfully. Ennis let go of him with a shove.

"Now get yer ass upstairs, boy. Yer sleepin' in the second room on the left from the stairs."

Bobby shouldered his bag and hurried toward the staircase and up the stairs.

"So... that's Bobby?"

Ennis and Jack turned to see Francine still lying on the couch, her eyes now open.

"Sorry to wake ya, darlin'." Ennis apologized.

"Naw... if I sleep any longer, I'll be awake all night"

"Ennis, I'm awful sorry about him. I wish I coulda raised him better." Jack said.

"He's a grown boy... makes his own decisions. He knows right an' wrong. Just chooses to ignore it. No fault of yours." Ennis told him.

Ennis reached an arm out and beckoned the sorrowful Jack over by him. He pt his arm around Jack's shoulders and embraced him with comfort. He had a feeling it was going to be a long week.

**End Chapter**


	2. Chapter 2

**(If I) Lose It All**

_Author's Notes: This story is pre-written for the most part. EXCEPT... for the ending. So... feel free for now to protest and campaign for what you think should happen. You'll see what I'm talking about after you read this chapter..._

**Chapter Two**

Bobby didn't come out of his bedroom until the next morning when the smell of breakfast lured him and his growling tummy downstairs.

He stepped silently into the kitchen and saw Francine pulling a tin of muffins out of the oven.

"Good mornin'," She greeted him with a smile, feeling his presence behind her.

"Ma'am," he said politely, never having found out her name.

"Cranberry muffins if'n ya want some." She said, taking off the oven mits and forking the muffins loose from the tin. Bobby was reluctant to try them since he'd never had cranberry anything before, but he figured this girl was cute and so he decided to grin and bare it.

"Hey, this is actually good!" He exclaimed, surprised, as he took careful bites into the hot muffin.

"Uh thanks."

"Bobby Twist." He reached out a hand to shake.

"I know who you are... and I know the kind of jerk you are. I've heard Dad and Jack talkin' about you before. You've said some pretty awful things to your daddy and I don't rightly know how he can still welcome you into his home." She bristled and knocked away his hand.

"How can ya blame me? He's a _queer_... the both of them are. It's sick and wrong. And I still don't got your name."

"Francine."

"Well, Francine, ain't ya even a little bit angry at yer daddy?" Bobby hopped up and sat on a counter top.

"No, I'm not. I'm glad that my daddy is finally happy. I seen him so lonely fer so long and Jack is the part of himself that he was missin'. It's love, Bobby... don't matter if it's a man and a woman, a man and a man, or a woman and a woman." Her voice got edgier the more angry she got at him. He wasn't just insulting Jack and Ennis, but herself too... even if he didn't know it.

"Whatever..." Bobby rolled his eyes. "Ya know, yer awfully cute when yer angry." He tried changing subjects.

Francine shot him a disbelieving look.

"You come in here and insult my daddy and Jack... and then you tell me I'm cute? You are too much, Bobby Twist." She turned and started to leave the kitchen, but bumped into Ennis who came out from the stairwell with a big yawn.

"Mornin' darlin'," He leaned over and gave her a small kiss on the forehead.

"Mornin' Daddy. Jack awake yet.?"

"Yep. Couldn't stay in bed with the wonderful smell comin' from in here. It's yer vacation, Francine, and a Saturday... ya didn't have hafta make breakfast." Ennis grabbed a muffin, effectively ignoring Bobby on the counter.

"I wanted to. Besides, I felt kinda bad because I'm not gonna be here for dinner tonight. Eileen called and said that Jared's havin' some people over and since I'm here for spring break..."

"Well, long as you're careful. I heard that Jared kid's been gettin' in all kinds of trouble in town since his mama died last fall." Ennis warned. Tomah and Warrens were quite small even combined and so almost anything made the newspapers, including troublemakers at the schools. Jared had been in the paper a lot lately. He wasn't quite the same kid that Francine had become friends with over summer.

"Can I come?" Bobby asked, bringing their attention to him.

"Only if you can stand not being a total prick for a few hours." Francine said, causing Ennis to choke on a piece of muffin as he tried not to laugh.

"Anythin' to get me outta this house."

"What's goin' on?" Jack entered the small kitchen, sensing tension in the air.

"Sounds like the kids are both goin' to Jared Parker's place tonight." Ennis informed him. Jack grinned like a cheshire cat.

"So we got the house all to ourselves. Think I like that." Jack approached Ennis and kissed him lightly. "Mornin' Cowboy."

"Fuck all! Just had to get all disgustin', didn't ya. Goddamn..." Bobby jumped off the counter and left the room. Despite Bobby's blow up, Ennis was smiling bigger than before.

"I'm proud of you, Rodeo. I thought fer sure you'd be wantin' to go back into hidin' what with Bobby here and all."

"We come so far since ya came and got me from Texas. I don't never wanna go back to how things were before." Jack assured him.

"You two are just so adorable!" Francine grinned _(expressing the opinion of fangirls everywhere)_. She picked up a muffin and tossed it to Jack. "Cranberry. I used the frozen ones in yer icebox." She said, walking away.

That afternoon, the group was all in the living room together. Francine had insisted on watching 'All My Children' and so they let her since none of the guys wanted to watch anything particular. Jack was reading a book, Bobby was flipping through a rodeo magazine, and Ennis was actually watching the show. He still hated the reading glasses that Jack had forced him to guy and so he was stuck watching it and trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

Halfway through the show and in the middle of some sort of scandal, Ennis was thankful for the ringing of the telephone. With a grunt, he pushed himself up from where he was sitting on the floor and went to answer the phone. He wasn't gone long when he called Jack over.

"It's fer you. Some guy named Randall. Seems right nervous." He handed the phone to Jack with a shrug, assuming it was maybe one of the new business men wanting to know Jack and Ennis's plans for the Cranberry Festival in September since Jack usually handled the public relations part of things. He didn't see the nervous way that Jack licked his lips as he took the phone.

Ennis walked back into the living room, but stayed close by so he could ask Jack what the phone call was about when it ended.

Jack took the phone and stretched the cord up the stairs as far as he could go for maximum privacy. He ended up sitting on a step before he spoke.

"Randall? How the hell did you get this number?" He whispered harshly.

"Jack... nice to speak to you too. You just left without any word. I had to find out about your attack in the newspaper. I've been trying to find you for months."

"I'm with Ennis now. You knew he was always the deal-breaker, Randall." Jack said softer now, a little ashamed as his actions and abandoning Randall without explanation.

"Yeah, I figured as much when I heard about someone beating the shit outta the guys that done it to ya. So... when I figured you were with him, I finally decided that I had to call Lureen to fid out where you were."

"Why? You know I won't be leavin' my man."

"Jack, it ain't nothin' like that. I got somethin' awful to tell ya. I-" Randall sighed wearily, "Christ, Jack, I don't even know how to go about this."

"Just spit it out."

"I have AIDS."

"What?" Jack's entire body went cold.

"AIDS. Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome."

"I know what it stands for." Jack snapped at him even though he didn't know, but he still knew what it meant. It meant death.

"Sorry... I just... I was told to inform anyone that I had sex with. Had to tell LaShawn... she divorced me as soon as she got her results back. She's okay... test came back negative. Jack, you have to get tested... and I'm sure your Ennis does too." Randall explained.

"Fuck... Ennis... Oh god..." Jack's thoughts came so quickly he could barely comprehend what was going on in his own mind. He'd have to tell Ennis about Randall and that was bad enough. He knew Ennis would be hurt. God, if Jack tested positive... then Ennis surely would with the way they've been going at it in the past year or so. With Jack's infidelity, he might have just killed the man he loved more than life itself.

"Jack! Ya still there, hon?" Randall asked.

"Don't call me that. Oh god... Ennis." Jack sobbed quietly.

"Just get tested, please."

"I gotta go." Jack said. He didn't wait for a response from Randall before he got up and went to put the phone on the hook.

"Jesus, Jack. Ya look like ya seen a ghost." Ennis observed as Jack stood in the area between the living room and the kitchen. Ennis touched Jack's face with concern. "Ya'll right, darlin'?"

Jack flinched away from the touch, feeling guilty for the pain he would cause Ennis when he told him about the phone call and his past. Ennis deserved better, he though.

"Jack..." Ennis looked at him, confusion and hurt in his eyes. He reached for Jack but was brushed off.

"I- I'll tell you tonight... when Francine and Bobby are gone." Jack said, hoping it would be a good enough explanation to stall for now. He brushed passed Ennis and sat down to his book, trying to ignore the questioning and concerned looks from his lover.

Ennis watched Jack, who was trying to hide whatever stress he was now under. The kids didn't seem to notice, but Ennis wondered if Jack realized that he hadn't turned a page in his book since he sat down. He wanted to know who this Randall was if he wasn't a business man and what he'd said to get this reaction from Jack. It was driving him inane that he didn't know and Jack wasn't going to tell him until that night.

The whole day, Ennis thought he was going to go crazy. Everytime he got near Jack, the man shrank back slightly. He shrugged off any touches from Ennis and regarded him as platonic as if they were never lovers or never felt any attraction toward each other. He knew it had to do with the phone call and the more he tried to think on it, the more upset he got. Was Jack cheating on him? He was popular with the ladies, so why not with the men too? The whole thing just put him in an awful awkward funk.

That night before Francine and Bobby left, Francine pulled her father aside.

"Did you and Jack have a fight?" She asked. Ennis shrugged.

"Not one that I know of."

"Well, what's going on between you two? You've both been acting really strange around each other today."

"I can't tell ya, darlin'. I don't know." He sighed.

"Well, I hope it all gets worked out... whatever it is." Francine told him sincerely. She stood on her tiptoes and reached to kiss him on his cheek.

"Well be home late tonight. Love you, Daddy."

"Love ya, darlin. Be safe." He said and let her go with Bobby to their little get together.

As soon as he was sure that they were gone, taking the spare care, he went upstairs to his and Jack's bedroom. He saw Jack go up there earlier and knew he was probably cleaning up or making the bed again. Jack was fidgety whenever he was nervous or under stress and he's picked up a habit of taking it out on any dirt, dust, or wrinkles that marred the otherwise good appearance of their home.

He entered the bedroom and, as predicted, found Jack pulling a cover sheet tightly over the mattress of their bed.

"Jack, it's time to talk." Ennis said. He shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the dresser.

"Wait until-"

"No, Jack. No more waiting. Who's Randall? He must be someone to get you all in a state like this." Ennis took his hands from his pockets, gesturing to Jack. He could feel his heart beating wildly, trying to break out of his chest. It was painful and the thought of all the possibilities of what Randall meant was frightening to him.

"Ennis, just let me think first before-" Jack tossed a pillow on the bed before Ennis interrupted again.

"Jack... you been backin' away from me all day like I had the plague... ever since that Randall called. Who is he? Is he some guy you got on the side?" Ennis's voice cracked as he said that and he began to pace. "Are ya sleepin' around on me, Jack Twist?" He stopped and pointed at Jack, anger welling up inside him so much it began to push tears out of his eyes. Jack stopped fixing the bed and just stood silent with his head down.

"I'm not, Ennis." He whispered.

"The what in hell and tarnation is goin' on? I tell ya... I worked awful hard to get this. I told you I loved you... I ain't never said that to no one but my girls. I worked myself over just to get over... everything I was raised to think. You broke me and I let you because I knew you'd put me back together better'n before. But now, I ain't got nothin' to protect myself when it comes to you." He had made his way right in front of Jack and was in his face, "Now who the hell is Randall and what's he said to get you so cold and untouchable?"

Ennis waited for an answer, expecting Jack to have some sort of explanation. Different scenes flashed quickly through his mind of Jack yelling at him, Jack defending himself, Jack laughing that Ennis was upset over nothing... scenes that showed anything except what actually happened.

He never expected Jack to collapse in tears. Ennis was shocked and was barely able to catch him. Wrapping his arms around the shaking man, he lowered them both slowly to their knees on the ground.

"Jack? Jack, I'm sorry." He didn't know why he was apologizing, he did mean all that he said and didn't have any answers.

"Ennis..." Jack sobbed, trying to bring himself back under control. Ennis held him and rubbed his back as Jack took slow, shuddering breaths and finally pulled away. "Ennis... Randall is... oh god, I don't wanna do this. Ennis, before we actually... before you came and got me from Texas and we made this think.. well, real..." Jack ran a hand through his hair with a large sigh. He wouldn't meet Ennis's eyes. Ennis had a feeling where this was going and it broke his heart, but he still needed to hear it from Jack.

"Randall... we was together, me and him."

"I wasn't enough? Not even fuckin' MEXICO was enough? Hell, Jack!" Ennis pushed Jack away harshly and Jack fell on his butt. "How many other guys ya give it to? Christ Almighty, no wonder everybody in Texas knew you was a queer! It's no wonder you got attacked, easy as you were with men!" At that, Jack inhaled sharply and Ennis knew he'd stepped too far. He instantly regretted the hurtful remarks regarding Texas, but he wasn't ready to apologize yet.

"Ennis! There wasn't a future for us. I was gonna break it off with ya... that was my plan. To quit you and start up with someone I knew would be more than an occasion. I needed to quit you because I couldn't take that any longer. But... I couldn't do it... seein' ya when I said that I wished I could quit ya. I wasn't able to do it." Jack tried to defend himself.

"How long?" Ennis asked through clenched teeth.

"What?" Jack froze, not expecting that question.

"How long was you with him before you decided he was better'n me?"j

"He was never better than you. I'm here with you, ain't I? I chose you!"

"Lucky me. The popular one had to choose between so many and I came out on top! How long?"

Jack was silent for a minute. He wanted to lie, but he knew Ennis would see through it.

"Met him in '79... he was the new ranch foreman.."

"Three years, Jack? So that bullshit you fed me about your ranch neighbor's wife... it was the rancher the whole time." He stood up and sat on the bed. His face showed Jack total disgust.

"God Ennis... I'm so sorry!" Jack was crying again. He tried to crawl to Ennis, but Ennis backed away, bringing his legs up onto the bed.

"DON'T... don't touch me. Not right now. Why'd he call? You back with him again? He your man on the side again?" Ennis spat out.

"No. Nothin' like that, I swear. I left him and never looked back. I made sure he always knew if you ever wanted me, he was history."

"Why'd he call?"

Jack slumped, defeated and sure that Ennis was already planning on leaving him for good.

"He called to tell me he's got AIDS." He looked up and saw blank confusion on Ennis's face. His heart sank even further when he realized he would have to explain what that meant for them. "Ennis... AIDS is this disease... you can get it from sex-" He paused, searching for words and Ennis interrupted him.

"So the guys itchy down there... what's that got to do with you? You said you ain't seen him in so long so you'da known back then if he gave ya anythin' right?"

"No Ennis... AIDS is different. You could have it and not know it for a long time." Jack's eyes filled with new tears as he continued, "Ennis, this kills... it shuts down your immune system forever and you can't fight diseases and... well, it just kills ya eventually. And there's no cure."

"So Randall is dyin'... but what's that got to do with..." Ennis's eyes widened as the meaning of everything sank into his brain. Jack nodded as he saw the realization in Ennis's eyes.

"But that means you might-"

"And you..." Jack interrupted him with a whisper.

"... and me..." Ennis nodded. "God, Jack... Jack." He had no words to described his feelings at that moment. All he could do was picture his life if Jack wasn't there, if Jack died. There was nothing. There was no life without Jack.

"Ennis, I'm so sorry... if you... if I ended up killing you, I'll never forgive myself." Jack reached out once more for Ennis and this time Ennis pulled him onto the bed and embraced him.

"Forget about that, Jack. I'm so sorry... I don't know what I'd do without you. I love you so much. No matter what happens, we're together, okay?"

"God, Ennis... I love you." Jack whimpered against Ennis's neck as he held onto Ennis with all his strength. Without thinking, he started kissing Ennis's neck.

"Jack... Jack..." Ennis breathed. His hands, once gripping Jack's shirt tightly, now roamed under the fabric.

All the anger, pain, guilt, and devastation from the night began to merge into one passionate fire.

Ennis attacked Jack's mouth with as much force as he could. Jack's teeth cut at Ennis's lips and Ennis shoved his tongue into Jack's mouth, finding the other wet tongue to swirl around.

They pulled apart and yanked each other's clothing off, desperate to get to what lay underneath. Naked as two newborn babes, they went back at each other with such force I looked like two bears wrestling.

Ennis moved to Jack's neck, kissing and biting down hard on the skin covering the artery and leaving behind a smear of blood from either his lips or Jack's neck, he didn't know which.

Jack groaned at the pleasurable pain he receive from Ennis. His nails, jagged and sharp from working with his hands, dug into Ennis's arms, leaving angry red lines in their wake.

Without any patience left, Ennis too the opportunity to push Jack over onto his knees. The tube of KY in the night stand was left forgotten as animal instincts took over. He spit pink into his palms and coated himself quickly, shoving himself into Jack's sensitive hole.

Jack cried out at the roughness of it all, but didn't protest as Ennis began hitting the pleasure spot upon each thrust. Jack grabbed at his own dick with one hand and started jerkin himself at the same time. Grunts and wheezes from years of smoking were the only sounds from them as they rocked in a fast paced rhythm.

It didn't take long for both of them to reach their climax and collapse into each other, sobbing for the other's life, neither one concerned about their own.

They cried themselves to sleep, sticky with tears, sweat, and semen... neither one wanting to face the realities that faced them the next day.

**End Chapter**


	3. Chapter 3

**(If I) Lose It All**

_Author's Notes: Wow... so I post this story on ffnet and on livejournal. I never realized before how different the audiences are. The responses I received from the last chapter varied extremely._ _From curiosity and interest in the ffnet crowd to people getting pissed off and threatening to quit my story in the livejournal crowd. Wow. Pretty strong reactions... careful now, or you'll give me a power trip._

_Now... I have decided which way this story will go... so no more protests and campaigns because I won't be changing my mind one way or another. You'll all just have to wait to find out the test results at the end of the story. Did I sympathize with those who pulled on my heart-strings and pleaded for pity on Jack (and Ennis)? Or did I succumb to my Scorpio ways and decide to get revenge on the couple of reviewers who pissed me the hell off? You'll have to wait and see._

**Chapter Three**

Francine was having a good time with the friends she'd made during her summer vacation in Wisconsin. They were more accepting of her and the fact that she had a girlfriend than any of her peers back in Riverton. The kids in Tomah and Warrens knew that their towns were so behind the times and they were desperate for anything new and cool from the outside world. Two gay cowboys and a lesbian were exciting to them and that was fine by Francine because after the novelty wore off, they all actually became good friends.

She sipped from her glass of wine with the girls while the guys all drank from the keg that was tapped in the basement. So maybe she had left out some facts when she told her father that Jared was having some friends over. It all depended on your interpretation of the word 'some'. Besides, she was pretty sure that her dad knew what was really going on and he trusted her not to be too irresponsible.

"So you're a friend of Francine's from back home?" Someone asked Bobby, who's nose and cheeks were bright red from the alcohol.

"God no! I mean... no. He's Jack's son. He's from Texas." Francine blurted out.

"I'm stuck with my father over my spring break. Sucks for me. I don't wanna be near no goddamn queers." Bobby said.

The conversation halted and Bobby failed to notice the strange quietness that had settled over the room as he gulped the rest of his cup of beer.

"Does he know you-" A girl named Chelsea whispered in Francine's ear.

"Nope. Would you tell him if you were me?" She whispered back.

"I don't see what your problem is, Bob, but everyone else seems to get along with yours and Francine's dad just fine." Jared said.

"It's sick and it's wrong, doncha know that?"

"What about Francine?" Someone on the other side of the room asked.

"What about her? I'll get into her pants by the end of the week." Bobby winked at Francine. Someone spit out their drink and choked down a laugh.

"Maybe you've had enough to drink, Bobby." Francine told him. He shrugged.

"S'empty anyway. Whattaya say, Franny?" He asked, making her cringe at the awful nickname.

"You'll never get in my pants."

"Ha! Yer probably a virgin anyway." He laughed.

She would have laughed if that had been the case, but she'd made many mistakes in her past. Another reason she had barely any friends left back home was because of her former reputation of being too easy with guys.

The first and only night Francine ever tried pot, she had also been drinking heavily and she had found herself making out with a girl that she didn't know. When she was back in her right mind, she was mortified and embarrassed. That's when she had started moving from guy to guy. She needed to prove to herself that she was 'normal'. She thought she just needed to find the right guy and that other urge would just go away. So she slept with any guy that wanted it and every time, she hated it. She hated how their body hair itched her skin, how their stubble scratched her face, how their rough lips felt on her.

She had started to drink a lot during that period of highschool, trying to forget everything. It wasn't until Clara, just a friend at the time, had taken her by the shoulders with tears in her eyes. She told Francine that she had to stop doing this to herself before she got hurt. Francine had started sobbing and told her that she already was hurt and nobody could help her. Over some months or so she had finally accepted who she was and started a secret relationship with Clara.

Remembering her salvation, Francine smiled a little.

"I think it's getting late and Bobby's had more than enough to drink." She said, bringing herself back to the present. She set down her glass of wine and hugged her friends goodbye. Then she took Bobby by the elbow and dragged him out of the house.

She had to listen to his incoherent babbling for the whole drive as the alcohol continued to flow through his system. When she parked the car, she looked over at Bobby.

"Do you need help getting out?" She asked.

"No, but I might need help with something else." Bobby leaned over and grabbed Francine's face. Before Francine could say 'what the fuck', Bobby had his face smashed against hers in a sloppy, beer tasting kiss.

Francine brought her leg up fro the break pedal and kicked him in the groin. He screamed and fell back into his seat and grabbed his crotch.

"Damn girl!" He grunted.

"Ya ever try that again and the damage will be permanent." Francine got out of the car without waiting for him and slammed the door. As she walked up to the house, she noticed that all the lights were still on. It was well past midnight and her dad and Jack usually were asleep by now.

She slowly and cautiously opened the door.

"Daddy?" She called out. "Jack?"

There was no answer. No sign that they were awake. But they had forgotten to turn off the television or the lights. It looked like dinner hadn't even been made. Two thawed out steaks were still sitting on the counter. Growing concerned, she made her way up the stairs to see if they were home and okay.

She opened the door to their bedroom, the light from the hallway making the shape of an intertwined Ennis and Jack under the covers of their bed. She sighed in relief that they were there and went back downstairs to put everything away and turn everything off for the night.

She hoped Bobby would just stay outside all night. Maybe he'd get sick from the cold March weather. She had no such luck when she heard the front door open and slam and Bobby stagger up the stairs to his room.

The next morning, Jack awoke in Ennis's arms. He wanted to spend the rest of his life right there in this place of love, but he could feel that he needed a wash. They'd fallen asleep after their desperate love making and didn't take time to clean up.

He kissed his sleeping Ennis lightly, making the man smile slightly in his sleep. Then he moved out of Ennis's arms and climbed out of bed. He couldn't suppress the groan that escaped his mouth when pain assaulted his body. At first he thought he was getting too old too fast, but then he remembered.

"Damn..." He muttered, looking down to see the bruises and mars on his body. He glanced over at Ennis and saw the scabbed lip and red welts over his arms. He hadn't even realized at the time how rough they had been last night.

When he started walking towards their bathroom, he cringed at the sharp pain in his ass. He couldn't remember whether or not Ennis had lubed up last night, but Jack sure hurt like hell this morning.

He stepped into the large bathtub of theirs. If he had felt up to sitting, he would have filled the tub and soaked in a nice bath, but since h didn't want his ass supporting any of his weight, he opted to stand for a shower. The steaming hot water shot out and pounded on his skin, soothing him and loosening some stiff muscles in his shoulders and back.

Jack brought his hands up and ran them through his hair, letting them slide down his face and neck.

"Ow, fuck." He flinched as one hand ran over his neck. He fingered the spot and felt a tear in the skin. He brought his hand away and saw the pink water left on his hand. The hot stream from the shower had dissolved the newly formed scab on his neck and it was bleeding slightly. Jack chuckled.

"I'm with a fuckin' vampire."

"Aww, it ain't so bad."

Jack jumped and turned to see Ennis stepping into the tub with him. Ennis grabbed a washcloth and lathered it with soap, then started running the cloth over Jack's body.

"Like that?"

"Mmm... yes."

"Sorry..." Ennis whispered softly. He didn't specify what he was sorry for, but Jack imagined it was for many things. The argument, the accusation, and taking Jack so hard... though the last one definitely did not merit an apology.

"I know. I'm sorry too." Jack apologized for his jaded ast and their uncertain future. He took the cloth from Ennis and returned the favor, washing Ennis gently and paying special attention to the red lines on Ennis's arms and the odd shaped bruises on the sides of his torso. After both of them were clean, they stepped out of the tub, toweled off, and began to talk as they stood side by side and shaved.

"We need to get tested." Jack brought up the dreaded topic.

"I know. I don't want to go to Gunderson though. Nowhere where people know us." Ennis said. Jack understood. AIDS was seen by everybody as a queer disease and people still said that anyone who got it probably deserved it and brought it on themselves. Narrow-minded people pissed Jack the hell off.

"I'm gonna call Holly."

Ennis nodded somberly. Holly was a nurse they'd kept in contact with from Texas. She would be able to tell them what to expect when they went in for a test.

"We're not telling anybody else." Ennis stated, his voice letting Jack know that he only meant it if it was okay with him.

"Right... until we know the results, if we need to." Jack agreed. He noticed Ennis frowning at him in the mirror. "What?"

"Shave it. I was watching you... I saw you not shave there."

"What? Ennis you're-"

"Yer not growing that ugly looking mustache back. You look like... like a caterpillar decided to take up residence over your mouth... or somethin'."

Jack laughed at Ennis's description. "Okay fine... can't even grow myself a little mustache. I'm a goddamn kept man." He muttered as he got down to shaving again.

"And don't you forget it." Ennis pointed playfully as he left the bathroom to get dressed.

It was still early when they were both dressed and ready for the morning and Bobby and Francine were still asleep. Downstairs, Ennis made some coffee and waited for the glass pot to fill. Jack picked up the phone and started dialing.

"Jack, do you know what time it is?" Ennis asked, not believing he was calling Holly already.

"Yeah... less chance of her bein' at work. She- Hello, Holly?" Jack straightened up and came to a sort of attention when the phone picked up on the other end. "It's Jack Twist. Yeah, Ennis is here too. Well, actually we don't know how we are. Kinda why we called you." Jack said with a small and nervous laugh.

Ennis poured a cup of coffee into a mug, took a drink, and then handed it to Jack. He set his chin on Jack's shoulder so he could listen in on the phone conversation.

"We uh... we need to get tested for-" Jack paused and then sighed with relief when Holly finished his sentence, glad he didn't have to say it out loud. "Well, since yer a nurse, we were wonderin' if ya knew what we should be expectin' and if there was a way we could get this done without anyone in town findin' out."

Holly proceeded to inform Jack and Ennis about clinics in big cities that were there for AIDS testing and patient care. Jack had to speak up at one point when he and Ennis could hear her crying.

"Don't cry, darlin'. We don't know nothin' yet... don't want you wastin' yer tears if this is all a big ol' mistake now." He said lightly. She told him of a clinic in Madison that took walk-ins so they wouldn't have to make an appointment.

The conversation ended on a forced happy note and Jack and Ennis made their plans. They would go to Madison that day. The sooner the better.

Ennis wrote a small note for Francine and bobby to find that told them he and Jack were out of town.

Jack poured the rest of the coffee into a thermos and the looked at Ennis when he reached for the truck keys.

"Actually, Ennis... how about the car?"

"Why?"

Jack looked at Ennis like he should know, But Ennis never was good at picking up on the subtleties of life.

"Ennis... the truck bounces a lot and the seats in the car are more... eh... comfortable. After last night..."

"Oh... right." Ennis grabbed the car keys instead.

**End Chapter**


	4. Chapter 4

**(If I) Lose It All**

_Author's Notes: I'm sorry this chapter took so long to get up. My dad had a heart attack and so I went home for the week to see him and help around the house. He's okay now, though. He's actually become almost like a legend around town, I guess. Usually someone who had a heart attack on Monday night would be in the ICU until Thursday still. My dad was moved out of ICU on Tuesday and released from the hospital on Wednesday. Doctors are amazed at his fast recovery, but say it's due to my dad recognizing warning signs immediately. He and my mom were at Wal-Mart when my dad felt his jaw starting to hurt. He told Mom to take him to the hospital... but he finished his shopping first, of course rolls eyes because that's how my dad is. So now people are talking about my dad who made sure he finished shopping before getting to the hospital for his heart attack. Anyways... that's my excuse for being late. _

_Oh... and please don't yell at me if the test isn't correct/accurate/or whatever... there's only so much I can find out on general information sites and I've never been in for a test myself._

**Chapter Four**

"The FDA... Food and Drug Administration... has actually approved a new test. It's much more accurate than the ELISA test. This new one actually looks for the presence of HIV instead of the body's reaction to-" the nurse was explaining everything to the two nervous cowboys in a cold looking office. The lights were bright fluorescent and gave a pale blue tone to everything, including the young nurse's pale blonde hair that she absently fiddled with.

"Now what... what's HIV?" Ennis asked, clueless about all of this.

"Well, HIV is the virus that causes one to eventually get AIDS."

"Wait so... this HIV is like... like a cold, right? And then AIDS is the- the symptoms?" Having two different names for basically the same thing just didn't make sense to him and he wanted everything explained as simply as possible.

The nurse bit her lip nervously, not wanting to stray from her rehearsed script. She looked pleadingly at Jack to explain her words to his partner, but all she received from him was a smirk of amusement.

"Um... well, yeah. I guess you could look at it like that, but that's really over-simplifying-"

"Listen, ma'am. We're sure you got a lot of things yer supposed to say, but we're really just interested in gettin' this over with. Dependin' on the results, then you can tell us all ya want or we could ask our nurse friend down south." Jack spoke up, trying to make this a little easier on the nurse as well as Ennis and himself.

"At least take the information pamphlets to read, please?" the nurse requested. The boys nodded and took the offered pamphlets. "Good. Now, when was the last time you engaged in sexual activity together?"

"Now wait a minute. Do we look queer to you?" Ennis stood up. He didn't mind if people knew about him and Jack, but he'd hate to think that he and Jack were starting to look and act like what he thought of as poofy queers.

"No... but you both came here for an AIDS test... together." The nurse explained her assumption. "Either way, I need to know. Have you been sexually active together?"

"Yes." Jack answered, pulling Ennis down back to his seat.

"When was the last time?"

"Last night."

"I don't like this. Why do ya gotta know such personal details like that?" Ennis never liked his personal life being exposed and this time wasn't any different.

"I need to know because if Jack's test is positive and yours if negative, then you'll have to be tested again... you did say that Jack was the one who might have been exposed by someone else right? Yes. Well it can sometimes take up to six months or even more for the virus to show up in tests. So you could still be positive and not know it."

"Oh..."

The nurse gave them a little bit more information and then she drew blood from each of them.

"That's it?"

"That's it. When you first came in, we got all the contact information we need from you. The results will be sent to you in the mail since you chose not to come back and meet with a counselor. So... you can go now, I guess."

Jack and Ennis both stood up and left the office. Ennis avoided looking at anyone in the waiting room, but Jack couldn't keep his eyes averted. He was drawn to the people waiting in the chairs. Some looked like any other person on the street, but some caught his attention. One man was dressed as a woman and being held in the arms of another man. He saw a woman and a child sitting together, the woman laughing with the child through the tears in her eyes. He saw a few people who looked like they were in the final throes of the disease... thin and pale, lesions on their skin, and a general aura of incoming death.

A shudder ran through Jack's body and he pushed Ennis to walk faster until they were outside.

"Let's go home." Jack said softly. Ennis nodded, and seeing the turmoil in Jack's eyes, un-self consciously put a comforting arm around his shoulder and lead him back to the car.

Francine woke up the sound of the doorbell chiming throughout the house. She waited to see if anybody who might be awake would answer it. When it chimed again, she threw back the blankets and ran downstairs.

"Junior! I missed you so much!" Francine squealed, seeing her sister when she opened the door. She had Nancy Grace in her arms and a diaper bag over her shoulder.

"Oh Francine, you look so beautiful!"

"Please, I just woke up."

"But you look normal... yer not all frizzy." Junior clarified, making Francine blush about her former style. She came in the house and shut the door.

"Where's Daddy and Jack?" Junior asked, taking off all the blankets and the baby snowsuit Nancy Grace was wearing.

"I dunno... maybe they ain't awake yet."

"Naw... the car is gone." Junior pointed out. Junior went into the kitchen to get a drink for herself and noticed a note stuck to the fridge. She read it on her way back to the living room where Junior and the baby were.

"Out of town... doesn't say where or what for. Do you know about anything they needed to do out of town?" Francine asked.

"Not aware of anythin' sorry. I was hopin' to catch them this morning, but oh well."

Just then, Bobby came down the stairs and collapsed in one of the chairs with a groan.

"Junior, this is Bobby... Jack's son. He's also spending his spring break here. He's a little hungover." Francine introduced.

"I ain't hungover... I don't get hangovers. I'm just sick."

"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt." Francine quipped.

"Huh?"

Junior giggled softly at the exchange. She'd never say it out loud, but sometimes she wished her sister was straight and had a boyfriend. It wasn't that she was against homosexuality. Her eager approval of Jack and her father was testament to that. She just wished her sister could experience all the joys of conceiving and giving birth to a child. She didn't see how that could happen with two girls.

She stayed and visited, letting Francine leave her at one point to shower and get dressed. Even Bobby's presence was fairly comfortable and he tried to act tough and play with the baby at the same time.

"Ennis..." Jack softly spoke up halfway home from the clinic. He was nervous, had been silent the whole ride so far and finally found the words for what he wanted to say.

"Hmm?"

"Just.. If my test comes back positive and yours doesn't, you don't have to-"

"Don't say it, Jack." Ennis gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles.

"But Ennis, you have to let me say-"

"No, I don't. I know what you're gonna say an' I ain't havin' none of it. Dammit, Jack. I love you an' I'm stayin' with you. Besides... if you got it, I more'n likely do anyways and we'll stick together." Ennis's face was pinched as he tried to keep his eyes dry. He didn't want to hear any of this and didn't want to think of it. He wanted to ignore the whole situation and maybe it would just go away and leave them be.

"Ennis, I saw those people-"

"Jack."

"I _saw_ those people," Jack spoke louder, making sure he was heard over Ennis's protest. "I saw them, Ennis. I saw the ding and the ones that stayed with them. If I am positive and yer not.. I can't let you be dragged down by it. I don't want you to have to take care of me or see me like those dying people in there."

Ennis slammed on the breaks, thankful the freeway was practically empty, and pulled over to the side.

"I made a promise to myself last night. I'm gonna keep it if it's wrong or right." These few words spoke volumes. Ennis looked in Jack's eyes and let him know he meant it.

"I love you, Ennis. I'm sorry for all of this." Jack was fighting a losing battle with his emotions and the floodgates opened up, letting the tears fall down.

"No I... if I..." Ennis took a breath. He so often had trouble finding the right words for his feelings and thoughts. He took Jack's hands in his own. "If I'd been brave enough to stand with you from the beginning, you... you never woulda felt the need to- to... ya know..." He shrugged, unable to actually say what Jack had done to get them in this situation. "What's done is done... no use dwelling on it."

He took his hands away from Jack and pulled back onto the road. As he drove, Jack put his hand on Ennis's leg, squeezing gently with affection.

When they got home, they saw Junior's car at the house and inside they were happy to see all three of their kids getting along. Jack was glad that even if his song didn't like him or Ennis, he still got along with Francine and Junior for the most part.

"Hey Daddy, where you guys been?" Junior asked, hefting Nancy Grace up and bouncing her.

"Oh ya know... business stuff... fer the marsh." He answered as Jack quickly went and put their information pamphlets in the desk by the window before anyone saw them.

"Okay... here. Ya wanna hold Nancy?" She started to hand the baby to Ennis, but he backed up suddenly.

"No. Uh... no..." He mumbled, resting a hand on the back of his neck. Junior looked at him, confused and a little taken aback. He'd never given up a chance to be closer to his grand daughter.

Jack came to his rescue.

"He woke up with a little bit of a cold.. Ya know, don't wanna get our Lucky Star sick." He smiled.

"Oh yeah... that wouldn't be good." Back to her happy self, she started to hand the baby to Jack.

"No... in case I might come down with the same cold. Better safe than sorry." He knew his excuse wasn't smooth and all three of the kids were looking at the two men strangely.

Jack could feel the heated embarrassment radiating from his lover. The nurse had explained the ways that HIV could be transmitted and each man knew logically that they were safe from giving it to the baby... but that didn't stop the illogical fear that both felt about their loved ones safety.

That night Jack was sitting in their bed wile Ennis stripped off his jeans and shirt. It had been a quiet night, neither man wanting to discuss it and both of them feeling anxious about how the results would turn out.

Ennis crawled in and leaned over Jack, trying to engage him in a little foreplay. Jack shoved him off.

"Ennis, weren't you listening to the nurse at all today?" He lectured.

"Yeah so.. If I ain't already.. Ya know... I'm willin' to risk it for you."

"Well, I'm not."

Ennis tried to kiss Jack and Jack turned his head, giving Ennis the cheek."

"C'mon, can't we even kiss?" Ennis complained.

"Now, you have an wound on your lip."

"From you!"

"Ennis... yer such a fuckass." Jack sighed, bringing a chuckle from the other man.

"Did you just call me a fuckass?"

"Yeah. What are ya gonna do about it?" Jack challenged.

"Absolutely nothin'... since it ain't allowed an' all." Ennis smirked and brought the blanket up to his body and layed down. He tugged Jack down beside him.

"C'mon... I know there ain't no harm in layin' t'gether." Lay with me." Ennis said, calming down. He'd learned over the year that it was okay to just cuddle and there wasn't anything un-manly about it. So if that was the only way he could be intimate with Jack, he wanted it. He got Jack down and wrapped his arms around him almost protectively.

"Love you, Rodeo... forever."

**End chapter**


	5. Chapter 5

**(If I) Lose It All**

_Author's Notes: Gosh, updates are coming along slowly... work work work doncha know._

**Chapter Five**

Monday morning, Francine got the call from Clara saying she was in Minnesota and had just finished checking out the University in Minneapolis. She was going to make the drive out to Warrens in Wisconsin before heading home the next day so that she could spend time with Francine before making the drive all the way back to Wyoming.

Bobby couldn't understand why Francine was so excited for this girl to come because he didn't miss any of his friends that much. They'd only been in Wisconsin for a few days.

And neither Bobby nor Francine could understand why Jack and Ennis were so quiet and tense. Francine was concerned that they were going to break up but were trying to keep it a secret. Bobby said it would be for the best, but the quietness from the two men was still disconcerting for him. He almost wished Ennis or his father would get in his face for the number of insults he'd been throwing at them that day.

Around 3:00 a car rolled up to the house and Francine started squealing excitedly, startling Ennis who happened to be standing near her.

"Girl's got the same lungs she screamed with as a baby," he muttered as she ran from the house.

Bobby decided to go out and see this girl too. Since Francine seemed to have no interest in him, maybe this girl would. He started to tuck in his shirt and head towards the door, but Jack interrupted.

"Don't go out there, Bobby. Let them have a moment to say hello to each other."

"You can't tell me what to do." And Bobby opened the door. He stopped at what he saw.

Francine had Clara against her car and they were kissing... more like necking.

"What the fuck?" Bobby muttered to himself. He shut the door and turned to Ennis who was now standing next to Jack by the nearest window.

"Ya just got a whole big gay family, doncha? Ya just gotta go and make yer kid queer too... I bet yer the one that turned my daddy queer. If it weren't fer you, he'd prolly be normal. Yer a sick man and so's yer whole family." He spat out at Ennis. He was shocked out of his anger when he received a slap across the face, not from Ennis, but from his father. He was speechless. Jack had grounded him when he was little or sent him to a corner when he didn't clean his room or if he slacked off in school, but he'd never stood up against Bobby with personal matters.

"You shut your mouth. Your momma may let you get away with this shit, and I never stopped ya from expressin' yer opinions about me, but you never again say anythin' like that to Ennis or about his family. And for your information, we was together before I ever even met yer mother."

Ennis stood back, just as surprised as Bobby but also mighty proud.

"I hate you. I hope someone comes after you again and this time I hope he finishes you both off." Bobby whispered harshly. He grabbed the car keys from the hook on the wall and left, slamming the front door before either man could stop him.

Bobby stopped passed the two girls, flipping them off as he got into Jack and Ennis's car and he pealed out of the drive.

"Who's that?" Clara asked.

"Jack's son, Bobby. He's an ass." Francine answered. "How was the university?"

"Great. I got a tour of the main buildings and a dorm building. There's even this part of the city near the school that's called Dinkytown. I think you'd like it too... if you didn't already have your heart set on Viterbo."

"Hey... Viterbo is a Fine Arts college... perfect for me to work on my art there. And if we do get into our choices, we'll only be about three hours apart." Francine said excitedly, bouncing on the ball of her feet. "C'mon, let's get you in and out of the cold. The guestroom is ready for ya."

Clara grabbed a small duffel bag from her car and followed Francine inside the house, stopping to greet Jack and Ennis on their way upstairs.

Jack and Ennis watched the girls go upstairs and Jack grabbed his jacket.

"Where you goin'?" Ennis asked.

"Ennis, Bobby just stormed out and took the car. He doesn't know his way around and it looks like a snowstorm comin' in."

"You won't be able to find him, Jack. He doesn't want you to. The boy knows how to drive so just calm yer ass down." Ennis took Jack's coat from his hands and hung it back up.

"He hates me." Jack stated.

"Maybe." Ennis shrugged. Jack looked up from the dust bunny on the floor he'd been staring at, surprised that Ennis wasn't going to disagree with him. Ennis saw this and cleared his throat. "Maybe he hates you... right now. Maybe you should try 'n get him here for the summer. With L.D. gone and dead... maybe you can change his mind and everything' he was taught. I mean... ya did with me."

"Ennis... that's different." Jack sighed.

"Don't see how. My daddy taught me and Bobby's grand-daddy taught him." Ennis conveniently forgot that it took him about twenty years until he finally accepted his situation and feelings for Jack.

After dinner was had, a plate was saved for Bobby and it didn't even have a chance to get cold before he arrived back at the house not long afterwards. He avoided everybody, resigning to the desk behind the couch to look at his magazine and fume on the day's events. He tried to ignore everyone, was relieved when Ennis and Jack went upstairs to the office to balance the books, but was having trouble tuning out Francine and Clara's loud laughs and cheers as they played a card game together.

The sounds of the two girls enjoying each other's company combined with what Bobby knew about them started sending thoughts and pictures to his mind.

Before he knew it, he was visualizing scenarios involving the two girls naked and having less innocent fun with each other than they currently were in the real world. He tried to shove the thoughts out of his mind, but the more he tried not to think of it, the more kinky the thoughts got. At some point, leather became part of the picture and he started to feel an uncomfortable tightness in his pants.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." He whispered to himself. He kept reminding himself that it was wrong. Two girls together was wrong, it was queer, it was a sin against God... it was fucking hot.

"We the people in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of our liberty for us and our posterity do ordain and establish this Constitution of the United States of America..." he recited to himself, feeling a little more comfortable as the tightness began to fade.

"What are you doing?" Bobby looked over and saw both girls looking at him.

"None of your business. Go back to your game." He glared at them and started looking through the desk to seem busy. He pulled out some blank papers and a folded pamphlet came out with them. He looked around and saw that Jack and Ennis were still upstairs so he opened the pamphlet to start reading, slowly.

"What's that?" Francine and Clara stood and approached Bobby to try and see what he had found. He tried to shield it with his arm and Francine sighed. "Fine... don't let us see. Read it out loud then."

Bobby licked his lips nervously, looking a lot like his father with the inherited habit. He stared at the paper, telling himself not to screw this up. He'd never been a good reader.

"A.I.D.S... ack- acquired immune... de-def-deficiency sssssyndrome." He took a nervous breath before continuing, "AIDS is caused by HIV, human imm–uh... shit... imm... uno... immunodeficiency virus. HIV destroys the body's abitily- oh! ability to fight infections and ker-certain cancers." He looked up at the girls and saw that neither of them were laughing at him, but they looked concerned.

"Can I read it, bobby?" Francine asked. Bobby handed it over to her, relieved. She continued where Bobby left off.

"People diagnosed with AIDS may get life-threatening diseases called opportunistic infections, which are caused by microbes such as viruses or bacteria that usually to not make healthy people sick." She continued to read through the whole pamphlet while Bobby and Clara were silent.

"Why would Daddy and Jack have this?" She asked quietly. She had an idea why they might, but didn't want to believe it.

"No, we ain't gonna be late filin' taxes... there ain't no big hurry unless ya _owe_ money. We're gettin' a nice cushy refund this year." Jack's voice was heard as he and Ennis came downstairs. "Hey kids... I was thinkin' of a-" Jack stopped when he saw the three crowded by the desk.

He and Ennis could tell by the looks on their faces that nothing good was happening and then Ennis rushed forward and grabbed the pamphlet from Francine.

"You kids was diggin' in the desk." Was all he said.

"Daddy? Is one of you sick?" Francine asked. Ennis twisted the paper, thinking he should have thrown it away as soon as it was handed to him at the clinic.

"No, darlin'."

"We don't know yet." Jack corrected him, earning a sideways glare from Ennis. "We went to a clinic yesterday to get tested. The results will be sent in the mail."

Francine started crying.

"Now... don't start spillin' no tears, darlin' girl. We don't know nothin' yet. Don't waste yer tears for sometin' that might not be." Ennis said in a soft, but stern voice. "And don't go tellin' yer sister none of this. She and Kurt got enough on their plates with work and the baby."

Jack was watching all the reactions, surprise that Bobby hadn't made a snide remark yet.

"Bobby?" He had to know what he was thinking. Was his own son glad that he could possibly be dying or did he actually care underneath that arrogant exterior?

"Bobby... what do you have-?" Jack trailed off when Bobby pushed passed Ennis and Jack and went upstairs.

"Maybe you girls should go on upstairs to bed too. It's gettin' late." Ennis nodded his head toward the staircase. Francine knew not to argue and so she held Clara's hand and they went up the stairs to Francine's room.

"We never shoulda kept these dumbass papers." Ennis muttered, crumpling the pamphlet further.

"Ennis... no use thinkin' on that now. They know and there ain't nothin' can be done about that." Jack reached out and ran a hand over Ennis's cheek and then his ear, massaging the small earlobe.

"Didn't want 'em to know."

"Were you at least plannin' on lettin' the family know if the tests came back positive?"

"O' course. Be cruel to just up an' die without lettin' them know why."

"So what are we gonna do about this situation?" Jack asked. Ennis shrugged.

"Nothin' more to do... they know and that's that. Keep on like before, I guess."

**End chapter**

****


	6. Chapter 6

**(If I) Lose It All**

_Author's Note: I haven't forgotten about ya'll...I've just been working more hours as of late so I can save up money for my California trip next month. This chapter is pure fluff and crap... people are getting sick of my depressing story so here's a small break._

**Chapter Six**

Tuesday began awkwardly as everybody, even Bobby, tried to forget the other night. Everyone tried too hard to act as if nothing was different.

While Ennis took the truck a few towns over to pick up supplies for when the snow would begin to meld and they could get the bogs ready, Jack took the car into tomah to meet with buyers who were interested in buying a large portion of their cranberries in the fall. After Clara said her goodbyes and left, Bobby and Francine were stuck in the house with no way to leave.

Bobby looked up from the television when he heard Francine rummaging around in the closet behind him. He was about to ask what she was doing when she walked passed him and into the kitchen, a couple of not yet folded cardboard boxes under here arms. Curiosity got the better of him and he followed her to see what she was doing. She got a roll of garbage bags and started tearing a couple of them from the roll.

Bobby leaned against the counter and watched her while she paid him no mind and continued, grabbing a roll of duct tape from a junk drawer. She started taping the plastic bags over the cardboard and finally looked up at the curious boy.

"Well, ain't ya gonna help?"

"Maybe if I knew what the hell you was doin'." Bobby laughed.

"It's March and we're on a big hill... I wanna go sledding while there's still snow."

"Oh, yer making sleds." Bobby finally understood. He'd never had a sled as a kid, but then he never had the need for on in Texas.

"Yeah, and if you wanna come sledding, ya better start working on yours." Francine nodded to one of the cardboards. Bobby grabbed the tape from her and a couple of bags and copied her work.

When they were finished, they had a couple of flat makeshift sleds. They bundled up in their coats and headed outside.

"This here is the perfect sledding hill." Francine informed him before throwing down her sled and hopping on, pushing forward down the hill. She screamed the whole way down and motioned for Bobby to follow.

"What do I do?"

"Just take a running start and hop on... the hill will do the rest!" She called up. Bobby was hesitant, but did as he was told He ended up flying down on his stomach, head first. With the icy wind stinging his face, he felt as if her were flying.

"Woo!" He yelled before sliding off his little sled and slamming into the snow. The white chunks that went down his coat shocked him.

"Ya okay?" He looked up and saw Francine smiling down at him.

"That was... wow." He said.

"Then let's go again!" They both grabbed their cardboard sleds and trudged back up the hill for another couple seconds of fun. This continued until both their father's arrived one after the other.

Jack helped Ennis unload the truck and then they leaned against the hood and watched the two teenagers having fun. Jack was so glad to see his son and Ennis's daughter get along. Even though they hadn't had too much friction yet since they've been here, he was till pleasantly surprised.

"Well, they seem to be havin' some fun," Ennis observed, bringing a hand up to his head and pushing his hat further down on it.

"What are they slidin' on?" Jack asked with a small chuckle.

"When me an' Alma's toboggan broke apart, we didn't have enough money to buy sleds for the girls... so I taught them how to make their own." Ennis explained, cheeks reddening just slightly as he ducked his head down, knowing full well that Jack would have been able to buy more than ten of the best sleds.

"Well, that's gotta be the cleverest thing I ever heard." Jack noticed Ennis's embarrassment, but was sincere with the compliment. Ennis smiled slightly

"Ya think so? They do work just as well as any sled bought 'n paid for."

"Daddy! Here, c'mon and show Bobby how to sled for real!" Francine called out. She stumbled up the hill and handed her board to Ennis. Jack raised his eyebrows in amusement.

"What?" Ennis asked.

"Nuthin'... go on and show us all how it's done." Jack grinned.

"You don't think I know how to have fun?" Ennis asked. Jack shrugged innocently. Ennis grunted and took off his hat, shoving it at Jack's chest. Then with a smile that Jack had never seen on Ennis's face before, he took a run and dove headfirst down the hill on the cardboard sled.

Jack made a decision as Ennis flew down the hill that no matter how the tests turned out, he and Ennis were going to have more innocent fun. Sure, they had their fun... in the bedroom and out of it, but they rarely ever let go of their adult selves and just had plain old fun.

He watched as his lover sped down the hill almost a perfect line, swerved once and corrected himself, until he slowed to a stop near a tree.

"That's how it's done. I never fall offa my sled." Ennis boasted with a wide smile wrinkling his cheeks. He carried the sled back up the hill where Bobby, Jack, and Francine were waiting for him.

"Oh yeah? I'll show you, old man. Gimme that sled." Jack reached for the sled in Ennis's hand, but was blocked by Bobby. He looked at his son questioning and got a small, barely there smile in return.

"Here, Dad." He handed his sled to Jack. Jack was silent for a moment, not knowing what to say as he took the sled. He cleared the teary lump from his throat and found his voice, rough with emotion.

"Thank ya, Bobby."

Bobby shrugged in response, trying to make it no big deal.

"Hey, why not Daddy and Jack have a race?" Francine suggested, livening up the moment again. Jack smiled mischievously at Ennis.

"Whataya say, Cowboy?"

"You done spent too many years down in Texas an' I can beat ya any day. First one down wins. If'n ya fall off, ya lose though." Ennis laid the rules and got his sled ready, holding it to his chest. Jack copied and nodded.

"Ready, set, go!" Francine started them off and they ran side by side and mounted their sleds at lightning speed. Halfway down the hill, it looked like Ennis would win by a couple inches at least... until Jack reached over and shoved him hard, pushing him into the snow.

Ennis wen tumbling as Jack whizzed pass him, laughing so hard that he ended up falling too.

"I win! You fell!" Jack yelled.

"You cheated, dumbass. Automatic loss for you, bud!" Ennis laughed, gathering snow in his bare, red hand.

"Hey now... cheatin was never mentioned in the rules..." Jack reasoned. "And so therefore I w-" A ball of snow hit him before he could finish his defending argument.

"Oh now who's plain' dirty, Cowboy?" Jack started to make his own snowball and threw it carelessly as he ran up the hill where Francine was laughing at them both. Ennis ran up following him and pelting him with more snow on the way. One of the snowballs his an unsuspecting bobby and he yelled in surprise.

A moment of silence commenced with nobody knowing how he would react. Francine broke it with her laughter ringing out.

"Ya think it's funny, huh?" Bobby asked. He reached down and grabbed some snow. Before Francine could run away, he grabbed her and smashed it on her head while she screamed and laughed, struggling against his strong grip.

Jack breathed a small sigh of relief that Ennis caught and they smiled lightly at each other. Ennis put an arm around Jack and Jack was going to lean int but ended up jumping away when he felt the icy trickle down his back.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" He yelled as he jumped around trying to shake the snow out. The snow fight continued for the four of them until it got dark and Jack complained about being hungry.

They all agreed breathlessly to go back inside and warm up. Ennis heated up some hot chocolate while Jack ordered a pizza on the phone and Francine and Bobby started a fire in the fireplace.

When Jack got off the phone, he put his arms around Ennis, bringing his hands under Ennis's shirt to lay flat on his stomach, feeling Ennis's warm skin shiver from the cold hands. He rested his chin on Ennis's shoulder and sighed happily.

"Today was a good day."

**End chapter**

_I really am so sorry about the slow updates lately. With picking up so many extra hours, I've just been too exhausted to even type. And I used to do most of my writing while I was at work, but our boss has been getting more strict lately and watching the security cameras. He keeps adding more chores to our work list so that we don't have time to relax and write and stuff. sigh_


	7. Chapter 7

**(If I) Lose It All**

_Author's Notes: Holy crap! It's that chick with that BBM story that hasn't been updated in forEVAR! ... yeah, just so ya know... this will be the slow pace for all of summer or until the end of the story... whichever ends first. See, I also got myself involved in a ficfest... a Chase-centric fest (from House M.D.). I have claimed five different prompts and so I'm working on lots of stories at the same time right now._

**Chapter Seven**

Jack was thrusting into Ennis slowly, making his pleasure last. He couldn't remember how they got to this moment, but he didn't care. He mumbled loving words to his man as he watched his face contort with ecstacy. He was the one that could make Ennis writhe and squirm and cum so powerful and Jack loved the moments when he could watch his face.

"Jack! I love you, Jack." Ennis gasped out, his breath hitching between words. Hearing his name being called out, Jack's whole body seized up and he exploded with a loud ringing noise.

The ringing didn't stop and Jack opened his eyes, feeling a familiar stickiness.

"Shit..." He mumbled when he looked over and saw Ennis asleep on his side. He'd dreamed the whole thing.

RING!

He remembered what woke him up and Jack reached over to the phone on the night stand and picked it up.

"Hullo?" He asked, voice harsh from sleep.

"Mr. Twist... Jack?"

"Yes."

"Sorry to wake you. This is Officer Dunford in Tomah. We have your son here... Bobby Twist."

"What?"

"He's been in a car accident. You vehicle will have to be totalled out, I'm afraid." Dunford continued. Jack jumped out of the bed, peeked out the window, and found the truck was there but the car was missing.

"I don't care about the car. How's Bobby?"

"Your son is fine. He was checked out of course, but he's in good condition. He'll be waiting for you here at the police station.

"Thank you. I'll be there." Jack thanked the officer and hung up the phone. As he walked, he was reminded of his dream and the resulting wetness. He cleaned himself off in the connecting bathroom and then went back to the bed and woke Ennis.

"Ennis, wake up." He accompanied that with a light shove. There was no response and so he shoved harder. "Ennis. C'mon, we gotta go." As a last resort, Jack stood and turned the lights on, startling Ennis awake.

"What the fuck..." He mumbled, confused.

"C'mon En... Bobby was in an accident." Jack tossed some clothes at Ennis and got dressed himself.

"How'd he get in an accident? It's the middle of the night... shouldn't he be sleepin'?" Any other time, Ennis's confusion would be a great source of amusement for Jack, but he wasn't really in the mood to notice and just wanted Ennis to get dressed.

"I guess he snuck out and took the car. Ennis, put yer clothes on." Jack said in a forceful voice, calling the man's attention to the clothes on the bed.

"Yeah, okay." Ennis did as he was told in a very submissive manner not usual for him. Jack chalked it up to Ennis not being totally awake.

After dressing, Ennis wrote a small note in case Francine woke up and then grabbed the truck keys and met Jack out by the truck.

"I'll drive." Jack said and took the keys.

"Why'm I comin'?" Ennis asked, climbing in the passenger side. Jack hadn't even thought about that. It just seemed a natural thing for him to wake Ennis and make sure he was there wit him.

"Uh... emotional support." Jack threw out an answer, satisfying ennis enough to get no argument. He buckled his seatbelt and looked over to see Ennis with his head against the window.

"If ya don't wanna come, you don't have to." Jack said softly.

"Jack. I'm comin'- wait... Bobby was in an accident?" Hi head came up and Jack raised his eyebrows, putting the truck in gear and pulling out.

"Yes, Ennis... I guess you was too tired to remember."

"Is he okay?"

"According to Officer Dunford, he is. He's at the police station."

"Dunford... the Tomah police. What was Bobby doin'?"

"I don't know... Bobby'll hafta tell us. And Ennis, the car is totalled." Jack hopped Ennis wouldn't be upset.

"So we'll get us a new one in the fall before the Cranfest." Ennis shrugged. He didn't much care for the car, but was relieved that the trust wasn't taken. He'd had that truck for so many years, and he'd never admit it to Jack, but he'd gotten attached to it. Secure in the knowledge that Bobby was okay and the car wasn't, Ennis settled back down with his head against the cool glass.

Ennis wasn't any good for conversation as Jack rove into town and when he looked over, he saw that Ennis had fallen back to sleep, his head lightly bouncing off the glass with each bump in the road. When he finally pulled up to the police station in Tomah, he leaned over and woke Ennis.

"We're here. Ya comin' in with me?" Jack asked. Ennis nodded, unbuckling himself and climbing out of the passenger side. He followed a step behind Jack, hands in his pockets and eyes on Jack's heels, knowing he'd want to talk to Bobby. Like any parent, he knew Jack was angry that Bobby snuck out but even more relived that he wasn't killed or hurt badly.

The streets were dead outside, even the bars on Main Street were quiet, but once they got inside the station, the florescent lighting made everything seem busier than it was.

Officer Dunford, a young cop with a two year old son and his wife expecting another, spotted them right away and broke from the conversation he was having with a fellow officer.

"Jack... Ennis." He greeted them with a nod of his head.

"Dan." Ennis nodded back.

"Where's Bobby." Jack asked, nervously.

"Right inside my office. One of the guys wanted to stick him in a holding cell to scare him and teach him a lesson, but the kid's scared enough already and I figured the disciplining should be left to you."

"Thanks," Jack breathed a sigh of relief. He let Officer Dunford lead him back to the office and he could see bobby through the blinds of the window. He had tear tracks on his cheeks and his head was bowed down almost as if he were praying. Officer Dunford let Jack go in by himself. Ennis stayed out and leaned against the cold cement wall.

Bobby looked up when the door opened and he saw his father standing there.

"Dad, I'm so sorry. I just wanted to-" he couldn't finish as Jack tugged Bobby up by his shirt and enveloped him in a tight hug.

"God, you're alright. You scared me, son." He whispered.

"I needed to get away to think. Dad, I... I don't know if I could ever be okay with you bein'... ya know. But... I don't want you to die. I didn't mean it when I said it. I'm sorry." Bobby was crying again, fresh tears.

Jack couldn't have been happier at that moment knowing that his own son didn't hate him. Maybe now the harsh attitude would fade away. He know that it wouldn't be perfect as Bobby was still a young man who would get angry at his father and make some low blows... but it would be better.

"I love you, Bobby. I'm just glad yer alright."

"I love you too, Dad." Bobby pulled away and roughly wiped at his face, embarrassed by his tears.

"Now... this matter ain't over. You totalled the car. You'll be payin' me and Ennis bck when you get yerself a job this summer."

"What? But I-"

"Don't argue. Yer mama won't be happy either, but I won't let her pay off yer debt. I'm gonna have a talk with her." Jack was stern as he spoke and Bobby knew he meant it. He nodded with sagging shoulders, knowing there was no way out.

"Yes sir." Bobby said, respectfully. Jack put a hand on his shoulder and guided him out of the office where Ennis and Officer Dunford were waiting.

"Just go on out... I'll take care of the paperwork." Officer Dunford said with a smile.

Jack motioned for Ennis to join he and Bobby. As they started walking to the front, Officer Dunford added as an afterthought, "And don't forget to save me a 20 lbs bag of your best cranberries in the fall!"

**End Chapter**


End file.
